When Miriam criticised her brother Moses because of the wife he chose, the Lord heard and she was smitten with leprosy. Maybe you grew up in a family that was forever finding fault, and now you hear the same tone in how you talk to your children. You can’t enjoy God’s blessings because you’ve been programmed to inspect, nitpick, and form opinions – usually negative ones. The Bible says, ‘If you want to enjoy life and see…happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil’ (1 Peter 3:10). The definition of the word ‘criticism’ (dwelling upon the perceived faults of another with no view to their good) should cause you to pause and think. Be Led by God, Not Others
First, there’s the word perceived. Often your perceptions aren’t accurate; there are always circumstances you don’t understand. Next we come to the words dwelling upon. We’re inclined to walk through life saying, ‘That’s not right,’ or ‘I wouldn’t do it that way.’ You say, ‘I’m an analytical person, it’s how God made me.’ That’s fine, but the problem comes when you choose to dwell on your observations – when you can’t set them aside.
You say, ‘But how can I help somebody if I don’t dwell on what they’re doing?’ That’s why the last part of the definition – with no view to their good – is so important. It’s not wrong to dwell upon somebody’s faults, provided you do it in a non-judgmental way with a view to helping them find a solution. Does that mean it’s okay to discuss it with a third party? Only if you can end the conversation by saying, ‘Let’s pray about it, keep it in confidence, and try to help.’ The Secret of Lasting Happiness
Nevertheless, God wouldn’t permit anybody else to criticise Moses—not even his sister Miriam. So what can you learn from this?
(1) We’re all capable of harbouring a critical attitude. Miriam had great qualities. She saved Moses’ life as a child, and she wrote a song of praise Israel used to celebrate the crossing of the Red Sea. But she paid a high price for her critical attitude—leprosy.
(2) When you’re resentful you become critical. ‘Miriam…began to talk against Moses because of his Cushite wife.’ (Numbers 12:1) But was that the real issue? No. ‘They said, “Has the Lord indeed spoken only through Moses? Has He not spoken through us also?”’ (Numbers 12:2) Moses’ wife was just a diversion; the real issue was Moses’ success. Their beef was: ‘How come he gets all the attention?’
(3) Anytime you succeed you’ll be criticised. The Bible says, ‘Moses was very humble’ (Numbers 12:3), yet even he couldn’t escape the pain inflicted by self-appointed critics. And you’re no different; as long as you’re alive somebody will find fault with what you’re doing. Brush it off and keep going. Choose Your Friends Carefully
(4) If you’ve been critical, you need to repent. When Aaron acknowledged, ‘We have acted foolishly…we have sinned’ (Numbers 12:11), God showed mercy and healed Miriam. Most of us would rather classify criticism as a weakness, but from God’s perspective it’s a genuine, bona fide, registered sin. And there’s only one way to deal with sin—repent and stop committing it.
Having a critical attitude may not destroy your relationship with God, but it’ll definitely hurt your capacity to experience His love, His presence and His blessing. Notice, it was God who smote Miriam with leprosy.
She started out by criticising her brother Moses, and ended up feeling the consequences in her relationship with the Lord. Why? Because God pays attention to the way we treat each other! Maybe you’re wondering, ‘Why would God make such a big deal out of this?’ Because when you choose to sin, you choose to suffer.
Everything God classifies as sin is hurtful to you—everything. When God says, ‘Don’t,’ what He really means is, ‘Don’t hurt yourself.’ And when He says, ‘Don’t criticise,’ He’s not trying to deprive you of satisfaction. He’s saying that having a critical attitude goes against who He made you to be, and what you’re called to do.
Just as fish were made to swim and birds were made to fly, you were made to live in fellowship with God—and a critical spirit hinders that fellowship. Even people who don’t claim to be particularly religious are cognisant of the negative effects of criticism. Dr David Fink, author of Release from Nervous Tension, studied thousands of mentally and emotionally disturbed people. He worked with two groups: a stressed-out group and a stress-free one. The Word And The Spirit
Eventually one fact emerged: the stressed-out group was composed of habitual fault-finders and constant critics of people and things around them. On the other hand, the stress-free group was loving and accepting of others. There’s no doubt about it, the habit of criticising is a self-destructive way to live. Don’t go there.
Some important observations:
1) Criticism is often ego-based. Oswald Chambers wrote, ‘Beware of anything that puts you in the place of the superior person.’ And that’s exactly what criticism does: it highlights you as the one who ‘knows’. Not only that, it gives you the satisfaction of shining the spotlight on others. People find it much harder to see your life when you’re shining the glaring light of criticism on theirs. When you live this way your attitude says, ‘If I can’t make it in this world by what I do, I’ll make it by knowing what you should do better.’ James writes, ‘These things ought not so to be’ (James 3:10). And Paul writes, ‘Love each other…and take delight in honouring each other’ (Romans 12:10). Abide
2) Criticism can break hearts. Imagine how Moses felt when his brother and sister suddenly turned on him. Because the people closest to us know the details of our lives, we’re always vulnerable to their criticism. Sometimes as parents we leave our children’s lives in shambles by creating a home that’s rife with criticism. Maybe as you read these words you hear the voice of your harshest critic – a parent who constantly put you down. A parent whose words still ring in your memory: ‘You were never any good’; ‘You’ll never amount to anything.’
3) How should you respond to criticism? Paul answers: ‘If I were…trying to please men, I would not be a…servant of Christ’ (Galatians 1:10). Instead of listening to your critics, centre your attention on what God thinks of you and your life will take an upswing. In the final analysis, His is the only opinion that count
Nobody wants to spend time with someone who monopolises the conversation by updating them on their top-ten-people-to-criticise list. Staying home and watching old movie reruns is more appealing than going to that kind of party! It’s a hard truth to hear, but the people you need most are the ones who’ll avoid you when you become known as a fault-finder. Sometimes criticism is inadvertent; on a better day, led by God’s Spirit and focused on what’s positive, you’d never say such things. Notice what Aaron said: ‘We have acted foolishly’ (Numbers 12:11). He didn’t try to defend his position by saying, ‘Yes, Moses did marry the wrong person,’ or ‘We deserve more of the limelight.’ No, he realised his mistake, repented, and retreated from it. And you must do that too. Why? Because criticism blocks the flow of God’s blessing in your life! We Must Be Ready
Oswald Chambers wrote, ‘Whenever you’re in a critical temper, it’s impossible to enter into communion with God.’ Stop and ask yourself: ‘Is the momentary relief I get from criticising others worth losing my sense of God’s presence?’. To regain that sense of His presence you need to confess and forsake your critical attitude, then replace it with a more gracious and loving one. Today, get down on your knees and pray: ‘Lord, forgive me for thinking my perspective is always right. I acknowledge that as arrogance. Give me grace in dealing with others – the same grace I’ve received from You. Help me to accept our differences and not demand that everyone see things exactly as I do. Give me victory over my critical attitude. In Jesus’ name. Amen.’
More Reading: Genesis 28:1-30:24, John 14:1-14
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